Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
