Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
