i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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