she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The Olympian is in my bed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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