dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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