I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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