Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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