Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
