so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
