a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
