There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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