Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
