Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
