She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found your dick twin last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
