I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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