i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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