So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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