If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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