end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize