i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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