Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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