next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
