i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
