Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
