What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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