nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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