She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
