I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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