So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
