shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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