her vagine was all disorganized.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
