I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
