i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
