Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize