and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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