You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
