How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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