Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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