ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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