we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
