You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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