Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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