Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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