Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize