I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
