he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
did i walk over a car last night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
