my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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