Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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