Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
