Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
