I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize