it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
