Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize