the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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