I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
