last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
