i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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