Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
